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You Don’t Want a Dog

7/4/17 4:34 PM / by Artur Sousa

By Jen Nussinow

Before you rush off into choosing a pooch, just think of all the freedom you have at this very moment in time. Binge watching 10 episodes of House of Cards over the weekend? Not a problem. You don’t have to be back at work for another 36 hours anyway. If you had a dog, rest assured there would be mandatory intermissions in which you have to be somewhat decent-saiyara pizza-stained sweatpants. You need to be presentable in order to clean up your pup’s dinner from last night.

And after they go for that walk, you’re not going to be able to plop back on the couch you’ve lusted at for five long business days. Because now, fido wants attention. So you have to entertain the beast’s desires to tug on a rope that’s no cleaner than a subway grate.
Ready to cozy-up and establish some well-earned solo space? Wrong. There’s that tail-wagger again, looking to get some quality snuggle time...on top of you. Just like taxes, the fur ball is always there. And speaks, or rather it barks, whines, yips, moans, groans, gurgles or pants.
It’s always in a perpetual state of noise and motion. In the morning before you hop in the shower, they’re around letting you know the neighbors are awake. When you try to work from home (finally) and take that call, they let you know that the squirrels are back and must be another louder, more powerful sound. Their sound. The sound that let’s all of your remote colleagues know that you’re not at your desk (Slacker.) And in the evening when a knock comes at the door? You can rest easy that (wo)man’s best friend will sound the alarm. Because safety first, right?


They need shots, and check-up’s, daily food and water changes, they lick (you and themselves) and they do weird things like drag body parts across the carpet. On top of all of that - they can’t even talk to tell you what they want. They just look at you with those eyes.


And then you look at those eyes. They’re big. Sometimes multi-colored. Sometimes cloudy. Sometimes, it’s not even your pet. And you begin to think, “Those are pretty soft and gentle looking eyes.” They’re the eyes of a foreign speaking, friend. And then you wonder about walks. And one-sided talks, And comfort and joy. Playtime and a lifetime. You think of your family, past, present, and future. You think of the place you live and how you’re ready for more responsibility than just your water-once-a-month succulent. And how nights out with your buds always lead home. Whether you’re alone or not, there’s something missing. Something that needs to make a noise to alert you when the neighbors are roaming around, a squirrel is on the loose or when a visitor is at the door.


So you think on it. You strategize. You make a plan and you are determined to find that mongrel that will forever be a part of your story. You research and hunt. And you finally find “the one”. It’s in need of saving - kind of like you. So you apply and you wait. And wait. And wait some more. You’ve already told your family. Your friends. Your home is prepped, but there is no furry friend to be found. What could have happened? Why is this happening to you? What could you have done differently? What if we could change the way we adopt pets?


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Topics: Lifestyle, Pet Adoption, pethood, Pets

Artur Sousa

Written by Artur Sousa